Be Happy, So Long As You Have Breath

I've been feeling less than inspired lately and in a general state of yuckyness (is that a word? I don't know but that's how I've been feeling.) So much so that it's been difficult to do much of anything, especially anything creative. I've logged on to my blog several times with full intentions of writing something, anything. It didn't even matter if it wasn't a masterpiece just so long as it had words that at least made a bit of sense. But, I couldn't even muster a simple sentence. Instead I would just log off thinking I'd try later. We all know later never comes.

Not only have I been neglecting my blog, but I've slacked on everything else too; scrapbooking, card making, writing my screenplays and my novel. I recently had major surgery and I had thought that I would get so much writing accomplished while I recuperated. Ha! It's been a month and nothing. I really feel bad that I've wasted so much time and that has made me really unhappy, which in turn leads to feeling uninspired.

Today I had the opportunity to audition for a musical, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (one of my all time faves). People think I'm nuts (you know who you are, and well it's not that far from the truth) because I love to audition almost as much as I love being in a production. Most people get all tense and uptight during an audition, but for me it's another chance to perform. That is when I come alive and I did feel more alive, on that stage with everyone watching. Now I'm feeling like I'm back on the road to inspiration. I'm excited to get something accomplished, hence the long blog. Just doing something even if it seems insignificant is better than nothing.

During the drive home I remembered something that I've always known but often push to the back of my mind. I am responsible for my own happiness, for the feelings I allow myself feel (or talk myself into feeling.) And so is everyone else. A lot of times I find I talk myself into feeling down or unhappy or angry - I have a great imagination and I can conjure up all kinds of things to alter my mood - so why don't I talk myself into being happy more often? It's odd but sometimes we would rather spend our time being in a bad mood when it takes so much less energy to be in a good mood, and it's better for us. Go figure.

We buy this green tea that has little sayings on tab. Some of them a kind of corny but there are some really good ones. Last night I made a cup and the saying was "Be happy so long as you have breath." To be is a verb, which implies action, so to BE happy means you have to DO something to invoke that feeling. You have to act on it even if you have to act like it. If you're not happy now if you act as if you are chances are you soon will be. So I made up my mind that I am going to try to be happy even if I have to fake it 'til I make. And maybe if I'm happier I'll feel more inspired. Who knows, maybe I'll inspire others along the way. It could happen.