I have recently gone through a life altering change. My relationship of 5 years has ended. The past few months have been rather difficult to say the least. I've had to go back to work (despite health problems), I've had to find a place to live, and I've had to wrap my head around the fact that at 41 I am once again single. My family (and his) have been incredibly supportive and helpful, still, even though I know this was the right thing to do it doesn't really take away the sting of a broken heart.
When everything you've believed in, worked hard for, and lived for comes crashing down around you it can be difficult to see why it's for the best.
Anyone who knows me will attest that music and singing (along with acting and writing) are a huge part of my life, so I've spent the past few months compiling a list of songs that have helped me through this trying time. Some of the songs have caused me to have a good cry, some have made me angry, some have made me laugh, but they have all been very significant to me in some way. The next intended step in my "Music Therapy" is to scrapbook (another of my undying passions) these songs. My list is pretty long so it might take several books to hold it all, but I'm hoping that it will help me get some closure and the insipration to move on.
My heart will always be on the look out for a home, but until it finds one I will echo the immortal words of Gloria Gaynor ......."I will survive!"
Monday, September 29, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
Be Happy, So Long As You Have Breath
I've been feeling less than inspired lately and in a general state of yuckyness (is that a word? I don't know but that's how I've been feeling.) So much so that it's been difficult to do much of anything, especially anything creative. I've logged on to my blog several times with full intentions of writing something, anything. It didn't even matter if it wasn't a masterpiece just so long as it had words that at least made a bit of sense. But, I couldn't even muster a simple sentence. Instead I would just log off thinking I'd try later. We all know later never comes.
Not only have I been neglecting my blog, but I've slacked on everything else too; scrapbooking, card making, writing my screenplays and my novel. I recently had major surgery and I had thought that I would get so much writing accomplished while I recuperated. Ha! It's been a month and nothing. I really feel bad that I've wasted so much time and that has made me really unhappy, which in turn leads to feeling uninspired.
Today I had the opportunity to audition for a musical, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (one of my all time faves). People think I'm nuts (you know who you are, and well it's not that far from the truth) because I love to audition almost as much as I love being in a production. Most people get all tense and uptight during an audition, but for me it's another chance to perform. That is when I come alive and I did feel more alive, on that stage with everyone watching. Now I'm feeling like I'm back on the road to inspiration. I'm excited to get something accomplished, hence the long blog. Just doing something even if it seems insignificant is better than nothing.
During the drive home I remembered something that I've always known but often push to the back of my mind. I am responsible for my own happiness, for the feelings I allow myself feel (or talk myself into feeling.) And so is everyone else. A lot of times I find I talk myself into feeling down or unhappy or angry - I have a great imagination and I can conjure up all kinds of things to alter my mood - so why don't I talk myself into being happy more often? It's odd but sometimes we would rather spend our time being in a bad mood when it takes so much less energy to be in a good mood, and it's better for us. Go figure.
We buy this green tea that has little sayings on tab. Some of them a kind of corny but there are some really good ones. Last night I made a cup and the saying was "Be happy so long as you have breath." To be is a verb, which implies action, so to BE happy means you have to DO something to invoke that feeling. You have to act on it even if you have to act like it. If you're not happy now if you act as if you are chances are you soon will be. So I made up my mind that I am going to try to be happy even if I have to fake it 'til I make. And maybe if I'm happier I'll feel more inspired. Who knows, maybe I'll inspire others along the way. It could happen.
Not only have I been neglecting my blog, but I've slacked on everything else too; scrapbooking, card making, writing my screenplays and my novel. I recently had major surgery and I had thought that I would get so much writing accomplished while I recuperated. Ha! It's been a month and nothing. I really feel bad that I've wasted so much time and that has made me really unhappy, which in turn leads to feeling uninspired.
Today I had the opportunity to audition for a musical, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (one of my all time faves). People think I'm nuts (you know who you are, and well it's not that far from the truth) because I love to audition almost as much as I love being in a production. Most people get all tense and uptight during an audition, but for me it's another chance to perform. That is when I come alive and I did feel more alive, on that stage with everyone watching. Now I'm feeling like I'm back on the road to inspiration. I'm excited to get something accomplished, hence the long blog. Just doing something even if it seems insignificant is better than nothing.
During the drive home I remembered something that I've always known but often push to the back of my mind. I am responsible for my own happiness, for the feelings I allow myself feel (or talk myself into feeling.) And so is everyone else. A lot of times I find I talk myself into feeling down or unhappy or angry - I have a great imagination and I can conjure up all kinds of things to alter my mood - so why don't I talk myself into being happy more often? It's odd but sometimes we would rather spend our time being in a bad mood when it takes so much less energy to be in a good mood, and it's better for us. Go figure.
We buy this green tea that has little sayings on tab. Some of them a kind of corny but there are some really good ones. Last night I made a cup and the saying was "Be happy so long as you have breath." To be is a verb, which implies action, so to BE happy means you have to DO something to invoke that feeling. You have to act on it even if you have to act like it. If you're not happy now if you act as if you are chances are you soon will be. So I made up my mind that I am going to try to be happy even if I have to fake it 'til I make. And maybe if I'm happier I'll feel more inspired. Who knows, maybe I'll inspire others along the way. It could happen.
Monday, February 25, 2008
All You Need Is Love
Life has been rather hectic the past couple of months. My youngest niece informed us she was getting married and we had six weeks to pull it off. So we worked our tails off, had a few disagreements (not with me, but between her and her sister - who was doing the majority of the work), a lot of sleepless nights, a lot of fun, and last Saturday we had a beautiful wedding.
There were some who doubted she should be getting married (again not me) since they had only been dating a couple of months, and they are from very different cultures - he is from Nigeria - but love is love and when it's right, it's right. Love is timeless, love is color blind, love is universal, but love isn't easy. However, anything worth having is worth working hard for.
I guess you could say I'm a romantic, a hopeful romantic. I believe that no matter what love conquers all. If you let love guide you can get through anything, whether it's your love life, personal life, family life, or career. I know it sounds very simplistic and idealistic, but it seems to work for me. That's not to say that I walk around with rose colored glasses on or anything, I just believe it's easier to get through the good and the bad when you put the ones you love(including yourself) first.
Love is the stuff dreams are made of, and without are dreams what are we?
Look at the amount of "love stories" that are produced by Hollywood, and how many people flock to them. We all want to love and to be loved in return. The poor and the rich alike. It's one thing we all have in common. It's a basic need like food, water, air.
Sure it was risky for my niece and her new husband to "take the plunge" after such a short courtship, but as I watched them the past six weeks and especially during the wedding I saw the love in their eyes, I saw forever in their eyes. If they remember and hold on to that then forever is definitely within their grasp.
When all is said and done, when all the poets have submitted their prose and rhymes, when all the philosophers have weighed in, and the critics have had their say, no one not even Shakespeare himself could have said it any better than John, Paul, George, and Ringo....
Truly, "All You Need IS Love."
There were some who doubted she should be getting married (again not me) since they had only been dating a couple of months, and they are from very different cultures - he is from Nigeria - but love is love and when it's right, it's right. Love is timeless, love is color blind, love is universal, but love isn't easy. However, anything worth having is worth working hard for.
I guess you could say I'm a romantic, a hopeful romantic. I believe that no matter what love conquers all. If you let love guide you can get through anything, whether it's your love life, personal life, family life, or career. I know it sounds very simplistic and idealistic, but it seems to work for me. That's not to say that I walk around with rose colored glasses on or anything, I just believe it's easier to get through the good and the bad when you put the ones you love(including yourself) first.
Love is the stuff dreams are made of, and without are dreams what are we?
Look at the amount of "love stories" that are produced by Hollywood, and how many people flock to them. We all want to love and to be loved in return. The poor and the rich alike. It's one thing we all have in common. It's a basic need like food, water, air.
Sure it was risky for my niece and her new husband to "take the plunge" after such a short courtship, but as I watched them the past six weeks and especially during the wedding I saw the love in their eyes, I saw forever in their eyes. If they remember and hold on to that then forever is definitely within their grasp.
When all is said and done, when all the poets have submitted their prose and rhymes, when all the philosophers have weighed in, and the critics have had their say, no one not even Shakespeare himself could have said it any better than John, Paul, George, and Ringo....
Truly, "All You Need IS Love."
Monday, January 7, 2008
Out With The Old, In With The New
Another year has come and gone and we are all another year older, and hopefully wiser.
Most people start the new year off with a list of resolutions and good intentions. I used to be one of them. But every year my resolutions and good intentions would only last so long and I would get frustrated with myself. So, a few years ago I resolved not to make any resolutions and finally found something I could stick to.
Don't get me wrong, I still have goals and dreams and aspirations. I just don't box myself into the yearly time frame. I believe if you do something every day towards your goals then you are successful. Even if it's the absolute least thing you can do you've still accomplished something. Some days are better than others, make the most of them and do what you can.
Even though I don't make resolutions, I still want to better myself and my world around me. And since I have been so sick with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS) I have been more commited to trying to live a greener life. We've been using non-toxic cleaning supplies and personal care items for over a year now and we try to buy as many organic products as possible, but there are still many more ways to improve. I posted a blog that I visited today "Living In A Toxic World" hoping that anyone who visits my site will also visit this site and find out more of what they can do to leave a smaller foot print on the world. Another interesting place to visit would be Oprah's web site she did an excellent show last week on green living. Even the smallest things can make a big difference.
I hope the New Year is good to us all and that we will have the things we need and want. Mostly I wish health and happiness to those I hold dear. Make the most of the time we have with our loved ones and remember fondly those who are no longer with us.
Most people start the new year off with a list of resolutions and good intentions. I used to be one of them. But every year my resolutions and good intentions would only last so long and I would get frustrated with myself. So, a few years ago I resolved not to make any resolutions and finally found something I could stick to.
Don't get me wrong, I still have goals and dreams and aspirations. I just don't box myself into the yearly time frame. I believe if you do something every day towards your goals then you are successful. Even if it's the absolute least thing you can do you've still accomplished something. Some days are better than others, make the most of them and do what you can.
Even though I don't make resolutions, I still want to better myself and my world around me. And since I have been so sick with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS) I have been more commited to trying to live a greener life. We've been using non-toxic cleaning supplies and personal care items for over a year now and we try to buy as many organic products as possible, but there are still many more ways to improve. I posted a blog that I visited today "Living In A Toxic World" hoping that anyone who visits my site will also visit this site and find out more of what they can do to leave a smaller foot print on the world. Another interesting place to visit would be Oprah's web site she did an excellent show last week on green living. Even the smallest things can make a big difference.
I hope the New Year is good to us all and that we will have the things we need and want. Mostly I wish health and happiness to those I hold dear. Make the most of the time we have with our loved ones and remember fondly those who are no longer with us.
Monday, December 10, 2007
A Diva By Any Other Name .....
Some of you may be wondering about the whole "Diva" thing. So I thought I'd clarify.
When most people think of a Diva they think about the obnoxious, conceded, "I thought I made it perfectly clear I wanted only green M&M's!" stars of today that term has become synonymous (Yes I've pulled out the $25 words)with. But that is not really what a Diva is all about.
A Diva is a singer who has an eight octave range (OK, maybe it's not as easy to reach all the octaves as it was when I was in my 20's and 30's), has been around for a LONG time, and has the power to really belt out a tune. A Diva also has a certain amount of grace and elegance about her. And, yes, I do qualify on all counts. Be that as it may, please don't think I had the audacity (another $25's) to bestow this title upon myself. Heavens no.
A few years ago, Robert and I regularly attended a friends Karaoke show and eventually helped her with it. When she would introduce me she would call me the "little lady with the big voice" and then somehow she called me Diva (in the best sense of the word) and it just stuck. Now more people know me as Diva than as Cheryl and, I have to say, I wear it proudly.
So the next time you hear someone being called a Diva ask yourself "Are they really a Diva, or are they just a spoiled, self-absorbed, over paid brat giving true Diva's a bad name?" And who knows if you look deep inside, perhaps just perhaps, you may have a little bit of true Diva in you too.
When most people think of a Diva they think about the obnoxious, conceded, "I thought I made it perfectly clear I wanted only green M&M's!" stars of today that term has become synonymous (Yes I've pulled out the $25 words)with. But that is not really what a Diva is all about.
A Diva is a singer who has an eight octave range (OK, maybe it's not as easy to reach all the octaves as it was when I was in my 20's and 30's), has been around for a LONG time, and has the power to really belt out a tune. A Diva also has a certain amount of grace and elegance about her. And, yes, I do qualify on all counts. Be that as it may, please don't think I had the audacity (another $25's) to bestow this title upon myself. Heavens no.
A few years ago, Robert and I regularly attended a friends Karaoke show and eventually helped her with it. When she would introduce me she would call me the "little lady with the big voice" and then somehow she called me Diva (in the best sense of the word) and it just stuck. Now more people know me as Diva than as Cheryl and, I have to say, I wear it proudly.
So the next time you hear someone being called a Diva ask yourself "Are they really a Diva, or are they just a spoiled, self-absorbed, over paid brat giving true Diva's a bad name?" And who knows if you look deep inside, perhaps just perhaps, you may have a little bit of true Diva in you too.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Watch that first step ... It's a doosie!
Well I've finally done it, I've finally created a blog! Wow! I can't believe it, I feel so 21st century. Any way I assure you that I will have many wonderful things to say over the next while ( I'm sure all will hang on my every word lol) but for now this will have to do.
Christmas is coming and as we all rush to get everything done, please pause long enough to think of the true reason for the season.
Christmas is coming and as we all rush to get everything done, please pause long enough to think of the true reason for the season.
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