"Living Out Loud....."

January 1 is upon us - boy did the past year fly by - and so begins the dawn of a brand new year filled with endless possibilities.

As usual I will not be setting any New Year's Resolutions for myself, I have always felt they put too much pressure on the resolvee and when they are not accomplished one tends to feel like a failure. That (to my way of thinking) is no way to live ones life, always worried that they are falling short and not living up to unreal expectations they have imposed upon themselves. Instead I usually write a bit of a wish list..... nothing like one writes at Christmas, filled with the presents they would like to receive, but one with the things I would like to see happen for me during the next year.

For me 2009 started out on an excellent track around mid-summer 2008, when I made a major life changing decision to leave Robert and the abuse and control I had lived under for 5 years. During those years I seemed to have lost my voice -metaphorically speaking - and my enthusiasm and gusto for life dwindled. I had been shuffling about, quietly, in his shadow and it seemed I had all but disappeared. When I left I took a huge step back into the sunshine and began to find myself again. I started doing the things I loved again, got involved with the local theater, my health has improved, and I have a job I love and look forward to going to. I finally took back the control on Christmas Eve when I told him I didn't want to see him again.

Now, as I enter 2009, I am going to continue "Living Out Loud" (to quote one of my favorite songs). Standing by in the shadows has never been for me. I was born to be in the spot light, to be in control of my own destiny, and to make my mark on the world. It may not happen tomorrow, but I know it will happen for me because I believe it and I'll never give up.

My wish list this year is simple: Live everyday Out Loud.....

"I'm tired of living in this bubble So today I'm changing everything Well, my dream's been buried in the rubble It's time to set it free No more keeping quiet this life inside of me

I'm gonna start living out loud My soul's been dying To scream and shout And shatter the silence It's a beautiful sound when each moment counts Starting right now, I'm gonna start living out loud Oh, yeah

Well, I'm not breaking any new ground And I didn't reinvent the wheel I'm just a (girl) who finally figured out What (she) really needs So I'm turning up the volume of this song inside of me

Gonna start living out loud My soul's been dying To scream and shout And shatter the silence It's a beautiful sound when each moment counts Right here, right now I'm gonna start living out loud All my demons, I have fought 'em Inhibitions, I have lost 'em It wasn't easy, but I taught 'em To just get out of my way And now, every breath I'm breathing, The air is so much sweeter Now that my heart has finally found a way To start living out loud My soul's been dying To scream and shout And shatter the silence It's a beautiful sound, when each moment counts Right here, right now I'm gonna start living out loud My soul's been dying To scream and shout And shatter the silence It's a beautiful sound, when each moment counts Right here and now I'm gonna start living out loud Living out loud Living out loud".....(Aaron Lines).

I wish the same for everyone, be happy, and make every moment count!!!